Charlie O’Neil on Elite TV

Charlie O'Neil Elite TV

Charlie O’Neil at the introduction of an Elite TV Freeview show, Channel 192, 2011


 

COMMENTS…

Rip Van Poltis:
They were the days! Fantastic pose from Charlie.


Calum Fossil:
Hello, my name is Calum Fossil, and I am currently involved in an art project which sets out to recreate iconic babe TV poses, but with men in very badly tailored suits. I am especially interested in recreating this pose with a male model in a pink suit that doesn’t fit properly. Anyone fitting the bill should let me know as soon as possible.


Dick Splash:
I am a model and I have a pink suit, but the suit fits me.


Calum Fossil:
Could you do the pose?


Dick Splash:
I think so.


Calum Fossil:
Okay, but the shot won’t be artistic enough if the suit fits. Can you take the suit back and change it for one that’s miles too small?


Dick Splash:
I’ve lost the receipt.


Calum Fossil:
Can you wash and microwave the suit 300 times between now and 1st December?


Dick Splash:
Probably not.


Calum Fossil:
Do you like Burger King?


Dick Splash:
Yeah it’s alright.


Calum Fossil:
Could you eat 25 Double Whoppers every day between now and 1st December?


Dick Splash:
I could try.


Calum Fossil:
In addition to your normal meals…


Dick Splash:
Would that not cause intermittent instances of nausea?


Calum Fossil:
I don’t think so. The burgers do have salad in them.


Babe TV (Administrator):
Readers should note that any seriously abnormal diet can result in intermittent nausea, violent projectile vomiting and/or death, regardless of whether or not it contains ‘salad’.


Dick Splash:
I’ve just washed and aggressively microwaved the suit and it’s massively shrunk. It looks really stupid on me!


Calum Fossil:
You’re hired!


Dick Splash:
But it’s turned orange.


Calum Fossil:
You’re fired.


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